17-year-old changes old-fashioned name to something contemporary, offends pregnant sister-in-law who wants to give her baby a vintage name: 'She said she'd like me to rethink it'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Sep 23, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

The number of kids who grow up with a name they absolutely hate is plentiful. It's all too common for the tastes of their parents to not align with their own, but it's not so often that they go to the lengths of officially changing what they are called. Sometimes, though, having a name that they can truly identify with is more important than family wishes.

This is a matter that one teenager took into her own hands by convincing her parents to let her change her name at the age of 16. Going from the old-fashioned Evelyn to the more modern Indie, everything was fine until her sister-in-law got pregnant and decided she wanted her child to have a vintage name. She began incessantly asking Indie about why she had changed her name, and it didn't end well. Sometimes folks are simply incapable of accepting the choices of others due to their own issues.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10407872256
    via Kelly Sikkema

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for making my pregnant SIL cry when she kept asking why I changed my name?
    via Flashy-Magazine-9264
  • 03
    My brother (30m) is married to Hailey (29f) and they're expecting a baby together. Last year I (17f) officially changed my first name from Evelyn to Indie (which was a nickname form of my original middle name). My parents gave in after realizing how serious I was about being Indie and how I was not warming up to or growing into Evelyn.
    via Flashy-Magazine-9264
  • 04
    My brother and Hailey want an older/vintage name for their baby and Hailey asked me about 5 months ago why I disliked Evelyn enough to change the name. At the time she brought up how popular the name has become and how vintage is back. I told her I didn't like vintage names and to me it sounded really old fashioned. I told her the popularity didn't influence my decision. She wanted to know my reason for disliking older names and why I liked something like Indie instead. I didn't mind her asking
    via Flashy-Magazine-9264
  • 05
    She brought it up again a week later and she asked the same question and pressed more for why. She asked a third and a fourth time. I gave her the same answer and asked her why she kept asking me. I told her my answer wasn't going to change. By the seventh time she asked she admitted she was worried her baby would hate having an older name and wanted to figure out what she could do to prevent what happened with me happening to her. She also said she'd like me to rethink my name because she thoug
    via Flashy-Magazine-9264
  • 06
    Two weeks ago when she brought it up again she felt like I had made a mistake changing my name and how 30 year old me wouldn't be so against Evelyn. I told her 30 year old me can deal with it if that happens. She told me I didn't really have a good reason to like the name and Indie seemed like the kind of name someone young likes but not someone older. Then yesterday happened and I kinda lost my temper. She started out asking the same stuff and the baby is almost ready to be born so I know it's
    via Flashy-Magazine-9264
  • 07
    Final_Figure 7150 I told her just like she hates Indie, I hate Evelyn and she needs to let it Igo already. She burst into tears and my brother got so mad at me. My parents were also like why did I have to speak to her so harshly. If you reacted like this the very first time she asked, then you'd be a bit of an AH... But, after months of her asking you the same thing over, and over, and over, your reaction is justified. I hate the "you must understand it's the pregnancy hormones "spiel - being pr
    via Final_Figure_7150
  • 08
    Flashy-Magazine-9264 OP I was thinking the same. Like being anxious would be one thing. But pretty much fighting me over my own name for months is so weird. I know she wants me to change my answer but I won't. I felt the same way for years.
    via Flashy-Magazine-9264
  • 09
    Final_Figure 7150 She's projecting - she wants her unborn child to love the vintage name, you hated yours, and somehow in her brain, convincing you to suddenly love your old name would ensure her child to love theirs too. Which is madness. Her child will be a unique individual with their own likes and dislikes, just like she is and you are. Hopefully she will come to realise she can't just make people be a certain way to match her aesthetic.
    via Final_Figure_7150
  • 10
    nrcds NTA. She's insufferable. And has no idea about boundaries. I'm sure it's not gonna be easy for the child coming into the world to this family.
    via nrcds
  • 11
    Ok_Discount_7889 Exactly. OP was extremely patient with her and gave her plenty of grace considering the pregnancy. But everyone has a limit! Her brother should have stepped in a long time ago.
    via Ok_Discount_7889
  • 12
    Famous_Specialist_44 If someone continues to question your identity, and they don't accept you for who you are, and if they ignore your explanation and request to move on....they are bullies and discriminatory. So, no surprise she burst into tears and is playing the victim now because that's what entitled bullies do when they are challenged. NTA Indie
    via Famous_Specialist_44
  • 13
    Environmental_Art591 OP put it to your brother and parents this way. Take the "vintage vs modern name debate" out of the equation and ask them if they would find her behaviour acceptable. She has 1 refused to accept your initial answer 2 harassed you for months 3 disrespected your identity And if you really want to get your family thinking 4 disrespected the way your parents have raised you, to be independent and true to yourself and your identity To your brother 5 would he allow his wife to bul
    via Environmental_Art_591
  • 14
    Shadow11Wolf50 This needs to be upvoted more. The SIL wants a vintage name for her child and is horrified over the thought of their kid potentially hating and changing theirs later. She can't accept that her child is going to be an individual person and not a doll. So she's been projecting that fear onto op and harassing op for months trying to either convince op to like her vintage name or give her a "reason" SIL thinks makes sense that she can "fix". This breaks it down perfectly as to its not
    via Shadow11Wolf50
  • 15
    AdministrativeStep98 Thats what I got too. She was projecting hard and imagining her kid was OP by arguing with her to rethink her name, just like she would if her future baby turned out to not like their name
    via AdministrativeStep98
  • 16
    KSJ08 NTA. Her behavior is really weird. Why ask repeatedly? And what's it to her, whether you choose to use Evelyn or Indie? It has nothing to do with her or her baby. I don't understand why she's so obsessed with your name.
    via KSJ08
  • 17
    Flashy-Magazine-9264 OP I don't get it either. She should be able to see clearly that she likes vintage names so it's 50/50 whether the baby will when they get older. Nobody knows. But it's not going to change anything by asking me over and over again.
    via Flashy-Magazine-9264
  • 18
    PumpkinPowerful3292 NTA - This: 'She told me I didn't really have a good reason to like the name and Indie seemed like the kind of name someone young likes but not someone older.', You don't need her good reason to change your name just your good reason to change your name. After 25 times of the same bullying from her, I would have snapped at her as well. Because it is bullying she was doing, for what purpose, who knows? And it is not hormones and as to why you needed to speak harshly to her, we
    via PumpkinPowerful3292
  • 19
    Secret_Double_9239 NTA pregnancy or not she would be testing anyone's patience the way she was carrying on. Tell your parents exactly how many time you have had the same disrespectful conversation with her and ask them what they would have done. Also tell your brother that you had told him how irritating she was being and asked him to tell her to stop which he didn't, therefore the situation is as much his fault as hers.
    via Secret_Double_9239
  • 20
    Flashy-Magazine-9264 OP My parents know. They were present every time she asked me.
    via Flashy-Magazine-9264

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aita baby names teenager sister in law names argument family pregnant reddit thread Reddit naming name
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